Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
love makes seman taste better
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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