i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
