Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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