He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
