My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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