I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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