Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
