why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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