If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
