What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
