I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
