I just saw a hot homeless man
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize