I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
even my farts smell like vagina
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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