Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
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Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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