So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
