weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
