Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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