Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
