The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
