STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Is it because I queefed?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
