Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
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You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
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