Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
