It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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