Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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