come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
