Your face is a jimmy john
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize