I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
