I am in a vortex of obligation.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
