When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
