I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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