no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
