I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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