i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
