im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
