spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
there is glitter all over my balls
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
