Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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