OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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