Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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