i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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