She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
