this boner is exhausting
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
His nipple licking is glorious
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