How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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