I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She is in my trunk
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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