Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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