guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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