That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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