you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
