I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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