Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You made out with two different species that night
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
