I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
