He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize