I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize