So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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