No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
