i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
if i died would you start the facebook group?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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