just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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