You're completely useless in the revolution.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
