we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
if only i could text you this smell
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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