using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
